Friday, August 6, 2010

Surro-Wear! and Openess

Who knew there was a whole market for Surro-Friendly clothing? Check out this search:

I personally love the "I'm not the mom, just the stork!" gifts. Gonna have to get something with that for our surrogate.

Also, I just wanted to send a thank you to all of you who have been so supportive of this journey so far. I was really nervous about going live. Would Aaron and I be judged? Would people respect the choices we've made thus far? Would people think this was just too weird to grasp? We've received so many positive responses and prayer support. I can't believe it. Originally I had sent the link to a few select people, but based on the support I've been getting I'm going to take another step out in faith and post my blog in my Facebook status to open it up to all my Facebook friends.

You may be wondering why. Here's the thing, this blog is doing exactly what I wanted it to. It's getting support for Aaron and I on our journey. It's creating a record of our journey for our child. And, amazingly, one of the other things I've prayed for is happening, people are starting to talk about things not often talked about. I've heard from a friend who never mentioned that she and her husband considered a surrogacy journey. I've heard from 3 friends about their incredibly painful and challenging journies with infertility. Seems like everything these days is open for discussion, but infertility and difficulty starting families are still things rarely talked about. First off, it's painful for the people and families experiencing it. Another thought I had is that it can start to become a "values" or "family values" discussion and might become heated very quickly. But I've found a lot of support, and I want to continue to talk about our journey in the hopes that friends and family members who might also be facing challenges starting families of their own, and feeling that unique, raw pain that sears your heart when you see someone holding a new baby or talking about a child as being an "accident," would feel more open to talking about their experiences, or at least supporting Aaron and I and allowing us the blessing of supporting them.
And for people who have never faced difficulty starting a family I'd like to help them get a glimpse of what our experience has been. To have them pause before asking a couple who has been married for 2 years, "So, are you thinking about starting a family?" In our case the answer was some non-committal, "eventuallly," but my heart was breaking as I wanted to answer, "Yes! Yes Yes Yes! It seems like we're thinking of that all the time! And trying to figure out how! And banging out heads against the wall! And hurting...oh how we are hurting so much!" Or having friends understand why you may love them so much, but just can't attend another baby shower, and to please try to understand, instead of guilt you into coming, or feel that you don't care about their amazing, life changing experience, but are simply hurting too much at this point to share in the celebration.
With all that, since we are talking about the "Baby-Making Process" (beyond sex ed!)I wanted to let you know I'm going to be changing this blog to "adult content." The content will be staying the same as it is now, so please don't think I'm suddenly going to be adding petri-dish porn movies (Ooooooh, how exciting watching fertilization in a petri-dish!), but I am "friends" with some high schoolers I know from church and I want to be responsible with that, particularly since I am talking about things that some parents may not want their high school children to hear at this stage in their lives (although please, once you head off to college, come back and visit! ;>).

I don't know how the "followers" link works, if you get an e-mail when the blog is updated or what it means to be a "follower", but if you'd like an e-mail when I update, please drop me a message via Facebook at at my e-mail account. Otherwise, check back occassionally and hopefully there will be more random musings on not-so-random topics from my random brain. :)

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