So far I've interviewed 3 agencies and there are 4 on our list. Then we plan to narrow it down to 2 or 3 and go to Portland and talk to them in person. But how the heck do you pick one? They all sort of offer the same services. They all are around the same price, with one that is quite a bit more expensive...but that seems to be the most "polished" agency. It's run by a lawyer and I know she knows her stuff, contract-wise. And she has surrogate profiles available. The other agencies are smaller...but they are running by former surrogates and IPs. Maybe that's the way to go, with people who know what it's like for both parties? All of them have references we could talk to. Some are more established, in terms of length of time, that they have been around. But so far the person who I feel like I've connected the most with is the smallest, newest agency. That could be a risk, but she says she likes to keep her agency small so that she can give personal attention to her clients, and she, the director, is a 4 time surrogate herself. She started the agency because she had worked with 2 agencies as a surrogate and felt that she herself could do better. If we're having this much trouble choosing an agency, how are we ever going to choose a surrogate?
All I keep remembering is Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." And I know that future involves our child. And I keep meditating on Psalm 127, "Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them."
Maybe I'm feel particularly drawn to these verses because it is Sunday. And, OK, so Aaron and I aren't exactly in our "youth," and our quiver is actually a house in Bellevue that may reach capacity after one, and considering the time in which this was written property was passed via male aires so the emphasis on sons, I think I can safely think of sons or daughters as belonging in this passage with equal emphasis. I guess what these verses mean to me is, A) Don't freak out because God already has a plan and an agency and a surrogate picked out for us and knows how all this is going to happen, and B)God likes children and knows the desire of our hearts and "has our backs," on this one. Of course, if one of my pastors reads this one he may totally disagree with my interpretation of this scripture. ;>
But I'm still kind of freaking out. Ah yes, my "humanness." Interestingly, there is a collegue Aaron works with at work who has been asking a lot of questions about surrogacy. Maybe she'll be interested in being our surrogate? Or maybe someone else will volunteer and we won't have to find an agency. Boy would it be amazing not to have to travel back and forth to Portland for the next year to be involved in the pregnancy.I just don't know. But God knows. Whew.